Every so often, Congress finds itself having to complete a spending bill or two before leaving Washington for Christmas and New Years. At the same time, some spending bills can have so many different amendments attached that they are like the various ornaments hanging upon a Christmas tree, so they have earned the moniker “Christmas tree bills”. In the spirit of good cheer, we’ve come up with a Christmas song celebrating this species of legislation. We’re hoping it becomes Congress’ favorite Christmas song.
O Christmas Bill
(To the tune of “O Tannenbaum”)
1. O Christmas bill, O Christmas bill
Whatever were we thinking?
In summer’s heat, spending should be done
But hey now, look, it’s December twenty-one.
O Christmas bill, O Christmas bill
Whatever were we thinking?
2. O Christmas bill, O Christmas bill
You kept us stuck in D-C.
We should be resting back at home,
Instead we fight beneath this dome
O Christmas bill, O Christmas bill
You kept us stuck in D-C.
3. O Christmas bill, O Christmas Bill,
What will it take to pass you?
We need more votes, what can we do?
We’ll add amendments—so overdue!
O Christmas bill, O Christmas Bill,
What will it take to pass you?
4. O Christmas bill, O Christmas Bill,
You do divide us so much.
Partisans lock down the Floor—
Now Members can’t amend no more.
O Christmas Bill, O Christmas Bill,
You do divide us so much.
5. O Christmas bill, O Christmas bill,
How laden are your branches!
The deficits will keep growing
But we gotta keep the guv’mint going.
O Christmas bill, O Christmas bill
How laden are your branches!
6. O Christmas bill, O Christmas Bill,
We finally found the answer.
The Left now gets a tax increase,
But the spending will decrease.
O Christmas bill, O Christmas Bill,
We finally found the answer!
7. O Christmas Bill, O Christmas Bill,
We finally get to go home.
You passed the House and Senate too,
Because we compromised, as we must do.
O Christmas Bill, O Christmas Bill,
Too bad the Pres vetoed you!
(Photo: Capitol Christmas Tree, Office of Sen. Patrick Leahy, via Wikimedia Commons)